Repost your favourite promos.

[Mr-Brightside]

They can be another's, they can be your's, just repost what you believe to be some of CCW's best promos in the year that's past. It'll be interesting and ultimately helpful to get yet more positive feedback on our first year's work and perhaps give others, who's character may be in for a direction change in the coming year, a few pointers on how to play the reverse role.

I understand that it may prove a chore to go through promo threads and show threads just to find single promos but remember, the choice is your's, you don't have to do this if you can't be fucked it was just a thread I thought may be interesting.

Post away boys (and girl)...

[OfLegend]

This needs pimping...

Lance Leonard appears on the stage, not accompanied by his usual music. He wears a black suit and tie, and his hair is combed to the side instead of its usual spiky appearance. He looks extremely solemn and does none of his usual crowd-baiting tactics, yet he is still booed. He simply walks to the ring and steps between the ropes. He looks visibly upset as he takes a microphone from a ringside employee.

Lance: Now…

As soon as Leonard speaks, however, he is drowned out by chants of “Matthews, Matthews, Matthews.” His expression does not change: it appears as though he has broken kayfabe. He is deathly serious as he speaks again.

Lance: Now, I know… I know you’re all here to have a good time. I know I’m not your favourite person in the world. But I’m not speaking to you now as Lance Leonard, leader of the Monsters of Pro Wrestling and CCW wrestler. I’m not speaking to you as a showman, someone who is here to entertain you. I’m speaking to you as Lancelot L. Leonard, the man. A man who, just days before, bore witness to a passing. Now, as Bret Hart is not here tonight, it is my duty to…

Leonard closes his eyes and swallows.

Lance: Inform you of this very sad passing. Just two days ago, as he was lying in the hospital, former CCW Champion Nathan Versus passed away.

The crowd respond with a mixture of astonishment and boos. Leonard simply shakes his head as if he is holding back tears.

Lance: I know, I know. I didn’t want to believe it either. But it’s true, Nathan Versus is dead. I was there. I saw it all. He was lying down, on his deathbed, like this…

Lance falls and lies down on the canvas as if dying, hamming it up dramatically.

Lance: And I, I was standing near him.

Lance rises to a kneel, looking down solemnly at where he’d just lain. He then stands and continues speaking.

Lance: And his mother… oh, his poor mother. She stood next to me… (he raises his elbow as if a woman was taking it). Poor old bird, absolutely infested with AIDS. Not long for this world, either. And Versus’ whores, they stood there (points) and there (points again) and there (points once more). Big Bubba even gave a eulogy, because Versus was too cheap for a priest, god rest his soul. But I’m not going to take this opportunity to hype myself up. Just to set the record straight, it was not the beating my associates and I handed out to dear old Nate that finished him off. No, it was when…

Leonard looks as if he is going to cry. He puts a fist to his mouth to stop himself before continuing.

Lance: It was when I took his hand, like this, and we offered to show him his greatest hits video. I won’t bore you with the entire three minutes of Nathan Versus' Greatest Moments, but for your interest, I have the clip that was playing when Big V flatlined:

On the big screen, a clip is shown of Hell Unleashed. It is the end of the match between Adam Matthews and Nathan Versus, where Versus is trapped in the Scorpion Deathlock.

Lance: It’s difficult to watch, I know.

Versus is screaming in agony, clutching at thin air trying to escape the hold.

Lance: He had so much fight in him, the old man, right up until the end. Inspiring. Truly inspiring.

Versus finally taps out on the big screen. Leonard looks around as the clip finishes and all eyes return to him.

Lance: That’s right, Nathan Versus literally died of embarrassment. And I don’t blame him. Can you imagine submitting to a nineteen year old whose finishing move is a dick joke? I know I’d just die.

The fans, now fully understanding that this is a work, hiss and boo at Leonard’s words

Lance: But, before Nathan did perish, he pulled me over, and whispered in my ear.

Leonard leans over an imaginary bed, turning his head to the side and resting it on the microphone he’s holding sideways.

Leonard: He said to me, he said, “Lance… Lance…” And I said, “Yes, Nathan?” “Get… Adam Matthews… for… me.” They would have been great last words, actually. But, with his dying breath, the great Nathan Versus one-upped himself: “I suuuuuuuuuu-ck…”

Lance grips his throat, pretending to choke to death. When he’s done “dying”, he straightens up and talks upwards, to the rafters.

Lance: Truer words were never spoken. Well, don’t worry, Nathan. Oh, wait...

Lance drops his head and starts talking to the ground, signifying that he is talking to someone in hell.

Lance: I’m gonna get Matthews for ya, partner. I’m going to get ahold of that little bastard, and squeeze the CCW Championship out of his scrawny body. Hell, at Vindication, I’ll beat Matthews so bad, they’ll arrest me for child abuse. I promise, Nathan, old buddy. In fact, I’m hereby dedicating my CCW World Heavyweight Championship win at Vindication, and my victory over that Sesame Street-loving slice of cottage cheese Al Woodbridge tonight, to the late Nathan Versus. He wasn’t the Future of Sports Entertainment, he was the Never Was of Sports Entertainment. But now that he’s dead, he’ll be remembered forever. RIP, Nath, and keep in mind: you won’t be alone up in Hell’s Kitchen for long. No, after Vindication, Adam Matthews’ short, burnt out little career will be joining you.

Leonard makes the sign of the cross, but instead of “In the name of the Father…” etc, he says:

Lance: Don’t… fuck… with the Monsters… of Pro Wrestling. Amen.

Leonard starts to walk out of the ring, and then turns around as if he's just remembered:

Lance: Oh, and Al, I'll be beating you tonight, I'll kick your ass, take your power of upward mobility, etc. etc. You're not really worth a proper threat from me, but all will become clear when you wake up in the hospital tomorrow with a medical bill you can't afford.

Leonard drops the microphone nonchalantly as “Shallow” hits around the arena. He grins to himself as he walks to the back, applauding the crowd and himself mockingly.

[Mr-Brightside]

Ha, I knew you'd post, Of, as you were actually the inspiration behind the thread. As always, good stuff, bro...

...anywho, I actually have a few promos that I think deserve reposting but I'll start with the one for which I received my favorite piece of feedback of all the promos I've wrote thus far. It was from JJJ and it brought a tear to this twat's eye, I tell thee:

INT. Backstage area.

Macbeth is seen hurriedly scurrying through the backstage area looking a combination of frenzied and tentative. Carrying his national title in his customary left hand iron clad grip he continues to walk through the backstage arena with his head lowered and with a certain amount of focus and purpose. Upon taking a blind corner through the backstage he collides with one of CCW unleashed’s other stars…

Macbeth: What in the Russian leg sweeping fu…

Macbeth averts his eyes from the floor, and looks straight into the eyes of a very serious looking Paul Hill…

Hill: You were saying?

Macbeth: I wasn’t saying anything. I was telling you to get the fuck out of my way…

Hill: I suppose I can let it slide, I’d probably feel the same if I knew I was about to lose the one thing I coveted the most…

Macbeth: What the fuck did you just say?

Hill: Did I stutter?

Macbeth: Heh, if I cared for the opinion of has-beens, never have-beens and in your case, never-gonna-be’s, I’d probably be in a similar position to you; battling in sans-meaning lower card shit-fests with a baldy bastard and his pet.

Hill: You’re a piece of work, Macbeth. But like I said, I’ll let it slide…this time.

Hill takes his leave and barges past a static Macbeth, knocking the national title from the grasp of Macbeth as he does so…

Macbeth: Motherfucker…

Macbeth contemplates blindsiding Hill as he walks away but with his national title bout in mind and possibly and more importantly his own well being also in mind, he thinks better of it, picks up his national title, dusts it off, curses a few times and moves on through the backstage area…

…as Macbeth moves on further, he comes across the conciliation of Adam Machiavelli, Josh Violence, Samuel and Heather St. Clair…

Mackbeth: Well, if it isn’t Mack and cheese. I ain’t got time for this Mickey Mouse bullshit…

…Not taking the time to acknowledge the party, Macbeth attempts to assert himself on the foursome by barging straight through the middle of the four. He collides with The Mack and Josh Violence, before the huge figure of Samuel stands before him…

Macbeth: Ow, chin, I ain’t got time for this, so if you’d kindly get to stepping, I’ll be on my way.

Samuel merely stares back at the archangel…

Macbeth: Look, I’m pretty sure I’m speaking English, but if not I’ll repeat…

…You ugly, lanky streak of piss, get the fuck out of my way, before I decide to knock you the fuck out…

Macbeth prepares himself for what appears to be the inevitable, before the calming somewhat sinister voice of Adam Machiavelli intervenes…

Machiavelli: Now, now Samuel, the gentleman has an important match ahead of him, he doesn’t need you wearing him out before his loss[/b] now does he?

Macbeth takes a step back, processes what The Mack has just said and responds in kind..

Macbeth: What’s that now? My loss[/b]?

Machiavelli: Well you’ve been off the boil since that ladder match victory over Al Woodbridge, wouldn’t you say?

Macbeth: No, I wouldn’t say. A…

Machiavelli: (interrupting)…Well I would. I mean since that victory, you’ve struggled to a “victory” over British Lion, who I think we all know was robbed, and if it wasn’t for my acquaintances…( points toward a brooding Violence and the pouting St. Clair)… you’d have probably given what’s your’s[/b] to that waste of space, Ballistc.

Macbeth: You trying to say I’m some sort of paper champion? You think I’m a punk? ‘Cos I’ll show you just how much of a punk I am when I’m pissing on your rotting carcass…

Macbeth lais down his national title and once again prepares himself for what he thinks is inevitable…

Machiavelli: I have things to prepare for, Max. I was just giving my insight on what I see as a dip in form. I ha…

Macbeth: …(interrupting)…Look, Ming the mother-fucking merciless, shut the fuck up, get the fuck out of my way, avert your eyes from my general direction or I will be forced to go all Flash Gordon on you bald behind…

…I am the first[/b], the last[/b] and the only[/b] motherfucker CCW will ever want[/i], need[/b] or have[/b] as their national champion and I’ll be damned if some traveling circus act tells me otherwise…

…Not only have I had more threatening shits than the four of you, I’ve got current street fight champions, a division the pair of you sad-acts know very well, mimicking my lines, so who in the name of Macbeth do you think you are?

Machiavelli: Heh, I’d believe that if it wasn’t drenched in desperation and paranoia…

Macbeth: Believe this, Mack…

Macbeth squares up to Adam Machiavelli until the pair are nose to nose…

Macbeth: Macbeth does not lose. That’s a mother-fucking Max fact…

Voice …and if you are in danger of losing…

Macbeth takes his eyes from Machiavelli and turns toward the voice of Josh Violence…

Violence: You could always enlist the services of Heather and I for a 2nd week, don’t be afraid to ask, as we’ll never be afraid to answer… Heh…

Macbeth: Well if it isn’t the innovator of shite, Josh Violated. You and your missus just stick to the porn, k, leave the wrestling to the real men, before you get burned…

At that, Macbeth pushes his shades back into place and walks on beyond the collective, looking even more frenzied and concerned than when he initially came across the foursome. Violence, taking exception at the archangel’s last comments, attempts to follow the archangel and perhaps cause some damage. However Adam Machiavelli puts his arm in the way thus preventing a potential scuffle…

Machiavelli: Let the man go, Violence; man can say and do a lot of silly things when in fear of losing the one thing that makes them feel alive…

Violence: He didn’t sound like he was shitting bricks to me. In fact he was the same incisive piece of shit I’ve seen walking around this place for months and a little, “Violent therapy,” could be just what the “chosen one” needs, if you know what I mean?

Machiavelli: Believe me, he’s worried, you’ll see…

The camera fades out from “body count” and fades back into Macbeth, still making his way through the backstage area. He come across yet another of Unleashed’s “employees”

Unknown employee: You defending that title tonight, huh? We…

Smack!!!!

Before the unknown employee can finish his sentence, Macbeth, out of sheer frustration, desperation and utter paranoia, lays him out with a nearby steel chair, bringing the chair down a further 6-7 times across the skull of the as yet unknown “employee.”

Macbeth: Game; Set; Match; Mad Max Mac-fucking-beth[/i]

With that, Macbeth discards the chair and throws it out of shot. He replaces his shades, tidies his archangel jacket and retightens his grip on his national title. Steely focus and frenzied aggression resumed, he walks off shot and marches on…

…The camera sticks around to reveal the crocked employee, lying in a pool of his own blood, gasping for air; former unleashed employee, Mr Bungle…

…The screen fades to black.

[OfLegend]

Ha, I knew you'd post, Of, as you were actually the inspiration behind the thread. As always, good stuff, bro...

Glad that you think of me when you think of great promos, dude.

...anywho, I actually have a few promos that I think deserve reposting but I'll start with the one for which I received my favorite piece of feedback of all the promos I've wrote thus far. It was from JJJ and it brought a tear to this twat's eye, I tell thee:

Care to elaborate?

[Mr-Brightside]

Care to elaborate?

Not a problem, man:

Triple tosser's reply to the above promo I posted:

admin said:

Fuck me, that may well have just become my favourite promo ever.

Fuck me sideways, it actually is!

Man, that was a work of art. I was a little pissed when I saw Hill's name, but it was done perfectly, and to be honest, put everyone here to shame.

I'm not TRYING to suck your dick, that was just perfect.

Now I'm not TRYING to suck his dick, but that was just about the perfect reply; validates the effort and proves you're doing things right.

Plus, any form of dick sucking from anyone of you, Del, Nath, Jane and or Euan always has that extra bit of zing to it, as you lot don't guzzle cum easily.

Edit: See, it's the things like what you've done with your signature that makes it all worthwhile and warm the very core of this miserable bastards heart.

[Carl]

If mr. blonde was active I have no doubt that Gabe Griffin would have held a Heavyweight Title by now. This feud with Cowards was one of the reasons I thought Cowards' American Title reign was so good.

Part 1

Cowards is running down a hallway, pushing people over as he bounces off the concrete walls, screaming for people to get out of his way. He trips over a garbage can and throws it behind him. He’s horrified of something, but everyone he’s coming into contact with, he merely shoves aside, so he can run away faster!

Cowards: Get outta my way you bastards, MOVE!!!!!

Cowards continues running with the camera in hot pursuit behind him, as Cowards is constantly looking over his shoulder. Cowards then bumps into a group of fans who stop him for his autograph.

Fan #1: Mr. Cowards sir, can I have your…….(gets cut off)

Cowards, having no time to spare. Grabs the fan and throws him into the concrete wall, knocking him out. He arches back his fist at the others and they flee, just as Cowards proceeds to run again.

Finally, Cowards gets to the parking lot and is looking around for an automobile to drive him to safety, but as he tries every car door, each is locked and he cannot get in. He bumps into Elena Rosario, who is just getting into her car.

Cowards: Gimme your car bitch! NOW, NOW!!!!!!

Elena: Why, What, Cowards, what's going on?

Cowards: That crazy asshole Griffin is after me and he just about killed me in the lockerroom with a discoball and a scarf. Now c'mon gimme your carkeys.

Elena: No!

Cowards then tries to fight her for her keys, but she knees him in the groin and runs away.

Thwarted again, Cowards begins to panic, sobbing as he tries each car in the parking lot, hoping for an open door. Cowards then sees a father, helping his handicapped son get out of their van, as their wheelchair lift is lowering the boy down.

Cowards, ever the opportunist, runs over and begins to lay a beating down on the father and steals the car keys. He then runs over to the driver’s side and attempt to start the van.

Cowards then stops, pulls the keys out of the ignition and runs out of the van and pulls the wheelchair with the young boy in it out of the van. Cowards then runs over to the driver’s side again and tries to start the car again.

The camera man gets in the passenger seat to go along for the ride. As Cowards is about to drive away he hears a loud THUMP sound on the roof of the car. Frightened Cowards doesn’t know what to do. He continues to try to start the car, but it isn’t starting. Cowards is screaming for it to start. He’s pounding on the steering wheel as the thump sound gets louder and louder.

The car finally starts when a hand crashes through the roof of the van and grabs Cowards by the throat. Cowards is screaming and tries to gets out of the van to run, but the hand still has his throat. He finally breaks out and tries to run, but falls out of the van and flat onto his face.

The camera man runs around the back of the van, past the child and his bloody father to show Gabe Griffin standing over Cowards smiling. Gabe pulls out a black bag and places it over Cowards face. Cowards is sobbing. Griffin then pulls a draw string on the bag and puts Cowards on his back. Cowards starts to scream, as Gabe places his knee in the small of Cowards back as he places handcuffs on him. Cowards is now going insane as Gabe slides open the van’s backdoor. He throws Cowards in and slams it shut. Gabe looks at the camera.

Griffin: The re-education of Cowards starts RIGHT NOW. TONIGHT HE LEARNS TO STOP BEING A COWARD AND START BEING A HERO. TONIGHT, THE UNTOUCHABLE INSTILLS COWARDS WITH THE GIFT OF COURAGE…..(smiles)ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!!!!

Griffin gets in the driversseat and starts the van and drives away, leaving a trail of dust in his wake as he peels out of the parking lot.

[glow=red,2,300]The camera feed cuts out at this moment, and all we have is black air[/glow]

Camera cuts back in, at first, very blurry and we see an extreme close-up of Cowards’ face. His eyes are WIDE OPEN. He’s visibly horrified, but of what?

Then, water starts to fall down his face as he shivers. The camera pans out to reveal a soaking wet sponge being placed on top of Cowards’ head. The camera pans out even more, to reveal that Cowards has been strapped down to an ELECTRIC CHAIR, and it is Gabe Griffin placing the wet sponge on Cowards’ head.

Cowards is in shock, it is clear in his eyes. He doesn’t know what to do. Griffin then places the final touch to Cowards’ look as he places the electric chair cap on top of Cowards’ soaked head. Gabe Griffin then leans in to Cowards and smiles.

Griffin: Hey Cowards, You know where you are? You know where in the HELL……you are? I’ll give you a hint, you just walked the greeeeeeeeeen MILE!

Cowards is now shaking in his electric chair, rocking it a tad, but it isn’t going anywhere.

Griffin: Cowards, don’t make me get the genital cuffs, calm down.

Now, I strapped you into that chair, that specific chair….that electric chair for a reason. That chair could tell you a million tales. It could tell you a million horror stories. If that chair could talk…….it would scream Cowards, you DIG? That chair has seen more evil than Linda McMahon’s vaginal canal you DIG Cowards? This chair has seen the worst of the worst, the damned within the damned, that chair very well might be the closest thing to hell on this earth. And Cowards, YOU are sitting in it? You know why?

Cowards: N…N….N….no.

Gabe smiles as he leans in right up to Cowards soaked cheek.

Griffin: I’ve strapped you into that chair, because I aim to get the coward out of you, to re-educate you in life, in the difference between good and evil, to establish that bad things happen if you victimize and cheat and steal and sin Cowards.

And………that chair signified to me, the most PRO-found statement I could come up with to illustrate my point. You see Cowards, that chair might be able to tell a million horror stories from a million sadistic lunatics, who’ve victimized a million innocent people, BUT. That for every million that chair has, it also has ONE ENDING……….ZAP! You DIG Cowards???

So Cowards, as you’re sitting strapped in for what very well could be the surge of your shitty little life, a million volts of RECKONING. I want you to THINK. I want you to THINK about all the COWARDS who’ve sat in that chair. And tell me Cowards, tell me……how did it end up for all of them???

Cowards stares on in shock.

Griffin: No need to answer Cowards, you see, I’ll answer for you. Everyone, every COWARD, who’s sat in that chair was sent to MEET THEIR MAKER with the flip of THIS SWITCH.

Gabe points over to the wall to reveal a massive steel lever. Gabe walks over to it.

Griffin: For all their ill-deeds, for all their sins, for all their victims. This here switch, was the redeemer. It was the last thing they heard before they got sent straight…..to….hell. And Cowards, I want to tell you, if you aren’t careful, well, someday you might find yourself sitting here again(laughing) That is, if you stand up and walk out of this room today Cowards…IF I LET YOU!

Gabe then polishes the switch a bit.

Griffin: Cowards, do…..do you know what makes you a coward? What makes you a spineless, gutless, hyena of a would-be man?

Why are you like that? How come you don’t have any balls to do the right thing? Why don’t you ever just face the music head on? Why the shortcuts? Why hurt people because it’s the easy way out? Why run, why hide behind thing, facades, people, why use and manipulate? WHY Cowards? DO you feel the energy in that chair, what’s its answer, enough COWARDS HAVE SAT THERE!

Cowards: Because?

Griffin: Because why? Because you’re built that way? Why Cowards huh? How come you’re such a shitbag?

Cowards: Because, because I’m a victim??

Griffin runs right back over to Cowards and gets right in his face.

Griffin: What did you just say Cowards?

Cowards: I’m like this way, because I’m a victim, I’ve been turned into this by society.

Griffin: You know why I hate you, why I hate what you are? Because cowards…….cowards breed victims. That’s right, a coward is nothing more than somebody looking to take advantage, to manipulate, to harm, to maim, to kill somebody else, to FEED OFF THEM, instead of taking the reigns themselves. You aren’t a victim, a coward uses excuses, a victim is just that. THERE’S A BIG DIFFERENCE YOU KNOW?

Gabe walks back over to the switch.

Griffin: Cowards(exhales)what makes you like you are, what makes you a coward is that you’ve always had a WAY OUT, an escape. You’ve never had to learn.

If I just flipped the switch now, it wouldn’t make a difference, because all you really are in this world, is a rat. You aren’t even worth the volts that could kill you. But this here, it’s mainly a prop. I want to, I want to evolve this conversation into something more productive, follow me on this one

Gabe flips the switch and Cowards flips out, but nothing happens, as Gabe walks over to Cowards once more.

Griffin: So Cowards, here WE are. MY intention of sitting you here to day, is to do GOOD. I want to show you, I want to teach you, I want to rid you of the coward within. I want to show you that a COWARD, is no way to live your life. Because frankly, a life as a coward, just………ain’t…….. worth……… living……. period.

So here’s the deal, here’s my…….promise. I’m here to show you the errors within your ways and as such, I want you to know that there’s something in it for YOU. I promise you, I WILL NOT lay a single, harmful finger on your person until our one on one match together at No Escape. Until then, I will merely observe you, as I watch to see if my teachings rub off. AND……if you learn, if you see that a coward is the single worst thing on this planet, and if I see a change…….well then, I’m simply gonna cripple you for that American Championship at No Escape and leave it at that.

BUT, if I think that you haven’t changed by No Escape, if I see no remorse for your sins, no fear of reprisal, no pence no REDEMPTION. Well then…… I’m gonna open you up ‘till there isn’t enough stitching in the word to sew you back together……YOU DIG?

Cowards nods.

Griffin: Okay then, so the re-education of a coward begins. Lesson one. When a coward is backed into a corner, they cry and weep and beg and plead and do everything but FACE THE MUSIC. Cowards, your first lesson is going to be all about FACING THE MUSIC, as I’m not going to let you weasel your way out for once. In order for you to stop being such a coward, you’re gonna have to GROW SOME SACK. Are you ready to begin?

Cowards shakes his head no. Gabe begins to unlock Cowards from the death chair and handcuffs him from behind again and begins to lead him back down the “green mile”. The go through a couple doors and are buzzed through into a regular cellblock. Gabe ushers Cowards past countless cells with vicious looking inmates staring on, until Gabe stops Cowards and he tells the guard to open one specific cell. The door opens and standing in front of Cowards and Gabe is a 7 foot, 400lbs Nazi, with a shaved head, swastika tattoo on his forehead and sickly ripped. Gabe smiles and looks at Cowards.

Griffin: Cowards, meet another worthless piece of shit coward, meet Gut Bunker, the biggest piece of Nazi scum sucking assbait on the planet, a real pussy. A real, quadruple homicide, multiple rape, hate crime leadin’, death row livin’ mother….ffff,(stops)

Well, he’s a reeeeeal prick Cowards........and he’s your first lesson. You get to bunk with good old Bunker here for a night, hey Bunker, is it true what Cowards was saying about your sister, does her pussy really taste like sweet corn muffins? Oh, well I guess you two will have something to talk over huh? And Cowards, now you get to see what NO ESCAPE means…… here in prison. Just be forewarned, I hear he’s victimized his fair share in his time. So, face him, FACE THE MUSIC. Stand up, fight. Make yourself worth a damn Cowards. Kick this shitbird in his tiny dick. Make him FAMOUS. Make him yournext VICTIM!!!……

Gabe stops, throws a resisting Cowards into the cell, simultaneously un-cuffing him and has it closed. Gabe smiles at Cowards as he starts screaming incoherently at Gabe, with the big Nazi behind him.

Griffin: Hey Cowards, that difference I was talking about earlier….the difference between a coward and a victim, it’s really simple. See the victim….the victim had no choice, they were simply faced with an evil and a bad thing happened. A coward, now he made his choice, he decided not to face the evil, he decided….he made the choice to run, to hurt, made the choice to victimize. So Cowards, lesson one, to stop being a coward, you have to be on the other end. So, since a coward like you victimizes, the only way you learn is if you become JUST….ANOTHER…..VICTIM.

Gabe smiles as he walks down the prison block, with Cowards screams in the background as the Nazi narrows in on him. Gabe then stops. Walks back to the cell, where it is visible that Cowards is fighting for his life in a cramped cell with this massive Nazi. Griffin: Hey Adolph!

Bunker turns his attention to Gabe.

Griffin: You ever ruined anybody’s life???

Bunker: Hell yeah you asshole. I’ve done it all and haven’t showered since!!!

Griffin: I was soooooo hoping you’d say that. Come here a minute you master race retard, come face to face with the redeemer.

Bunker walks right next to Griffin, only cell bars separating them. Griffin smiles and grabs Bunker by the back of the head and repeatedly slams his face into the bars. Bunker, the massive Nazi is screaming. Cowards then lowblows Bunker and jumps on top of him, laying a wrath of fists on his face. Even head butting the giant. Griffin has the door open and throws Cowards off the bloody Nazi. Gabe picks the Nazi up and leans him over the second floor railing.

Griffin: You’re just like all the others, just another punk……just another sinner……just depraved, wicked monster…… just another rapist……. just another murderer….and guess what? Now, you’re just another....... hospital patient (smiles)

Gabe then tips Bunker over the railing, throwing him down onto the steel floor beneath him, a good twenty foot drop. You can hear Bunker screaming about his legs in the background as Gabe walks over to Cowards laying in the cell.

Griffin: He’s just another victim too Cowards. But before you join him, we’ve got some work to do, until next time Cowards. You can run, you can hide, but when I want to teach your next lesson, I’m gonna find you, blind you, cuff you and teach you. THE RECKONING IS UPON US. And come No Escape, your bulls eye becomes my bulls eye. YOU DIG ?Until next time Cowards, I just want you to remember that I AM SIMPLY…….Uuuuuuuuuuun-TOUCHABLE!

Gabe slams the cell door shut and walks away again, Cowards jumps up and goes to the bars.

Cowards: How am I supposed to get out of here?!(screams)

Gabe walks back and opens the cell door.

Griffin: Oh, no need to stay in one place, when I want you, I’ll find you, but here, just to keep you in the loop.

Gabe hands him something and walks away for the last time.

Cowards opens his hand to reveal an hourglass filled with red sand. Engraved on it is the saying, “TIME IS RUNNING OUT, VICTIM” Cowards begins to scream and throws the hourglass down

FADE TO BLACK!

[Carl]

Part 2

We see a dank, filthy old motel room from the moonlight beaming in from the dirty window. The door opens and the light slowly flicks on. Cowards rushes in as he is making out with…..a woman!!!! A very hot, tall, blonde, busty WOMAN at that, as he is clumsily taking off his clothes and is sipping champagne right out of the bottle. He hands her the bottle and pounces onto the stained bed, ruffling his messy hair and wild eyed.

Cowards:Hell woman, ever since I've gotten Griffin hunting my ass, trying to PUNISH me, trying to re-educate me before No Escape, I haven't had time to tap dance like Gregory Hines on some grade-A ASS!!! Whew! Are you ready for a big dose of Vitamin C???

Beautiful Woman: Oh boy, I sure am!(sarcastically)

Cowards: Oh, I wasn’t talking to you bitch, I was looking at myself in the mirror over there, but there’s a good piece in it for you too, my love bug. We’re gonna be together forever!!!

The beautiful woman smiles and turns her back to him, at which time we see that she slips a powder into the champagne bottle. The woman then hands the bottle back to Cowards, who continues to chug the bottle like there’s no tomorrow.

Beautiful Woman: HEY.....is this……your FIRST time?

Cowards: Isn’t it yours?

Beautiful Woman(looking very untruthful): Yyyyyyeah, of course silly. I think I’ve been saving myself for you and I can’t believe we bumped into each other like that at the bar. What are the chances?(very blandly)

Cowards: I know, it was like you were waiting for me there!(laughs)

The beautiful woman painfully laughs as she sees Cowards getting a little woozy, continuing to slurp down the drugged champagne.

Cowards: So baby……..come over here and sit down. Let’s play pin the tail on the Coward.

Beautiful Woman: Sure thing sweet lips.

The woman walks over and begins to undress, but Cowards then falls right off the bed and you hear a loud THUD! He gets back up, but looks severely drugged.

Cowards: I d-d-don’t feel so hot, we better make this quick.

Beautiful Woman: That’s about what I expected.

As they begin to kiss on the bed, Cowards passes out and knocks his head on the headboard HARD. The woman smiles, leans over and slaps Cowards’ face. When he doesn’t reply, she gets up, puts her shirt back on and gets on her knees.

She goes under the bed and pulls out a bag. The camera zooms in and it’s a BAG OF ICE. She proceeds to pull out bag after bag. She then grabs Cowards by the foot and drags him off the bed, making a loud THUD again, and slugs his body into the bathroom, where she turns the light on.

FADE TO BLACK.

Camera fades back in on a close up of Cowards’ face, the sun hitting his face, awakening him, IT IS NOW MORNING!!!

He shakes the cobwebs out of his head and tries to focus. He then looks around and adjusts his eyes.

The camera pans out JUST AS Cowards looks at his body. Cowards is sitting, handcuffed behind his back , in a BATHTUB FULL OF ICE. His feet are sticking out the mould tub’s other end, but between both ends of his body, he is entrenched in frozen ICE.

Cowards is about to scream when a hand slaps over his mouth. The camera pans out some more, standing there above him, is “THE UNTOUCHABLE”, Gabe Griffin.


Cowards is shivering and Griffin just smiles at him. Griffin kneels down to get face to face with Cowards and takes of his patented shades.

Griffin: So………I guess you never heard the Urban Legend about the beautiful woman who lures stupid, horny men up to a cheap motel room for…. “sex”. She then drugs them, and leaves them packed in a bathtub full of ice. And when they wake up,they realize they’ve just had their kidney’s removed to be sold on the black market. TOO BAD, it would’ve been handy knowledge for you last night.

Cowards starts to shake in the tub, but his body is very immobile and frozen.

Griffin: Do you feel AFRAID now Cowards? Do you feel taken ADVANTAGE OF now Cowards? Do you feel Victimized now Cowards? See like I said last time we met, the difference between a victim and a coward, is that the victim didn’t have a choice, where the coward, he choses to run, to hide, to use. Well, last night how did apples taste? How did the unknown feel? How does it feel to wake up in a bathtub full of ice with one of your kidneys removed and your redeemer standing above you, like an........avenging angel from heaven?

Cowards takes a deep breath and exhales, he turns to look at Gabe and his lip begins to quiver.

Griffin: It’s alright to cry Cowards, you aren’t the first and you certainly aren’t the last. Acutally, crying shows me something, it shows me that the re-education of you is working. A paradigm shift in your way of thinking. See, I’ve put you in their shoes, the victim’s shoes. You now know how it feels to be completely and utterly helpless, weak, vulnerable, alone. Not a good feeling........ is it?

Cowards does not respond, toughens up and just sneers. Gabe then pulls out an ice pick, and inches closer to the tub.

Griffin: You ever hear the urban legend about the escaped mental patenient who stalks loverslane couples and murders them with an ICE pick? I’m just messing with you….(laughs) the killer used a rusty hook, but sticks and stones will break your bones, but urban legends will never hurt you, unless(trails off and looks to the ground)

Griffin: You know Cowards, last time we talked, I said that I was watching you, judging you, trying to see if you’d change your cowardly ways. Trying to see if you were worth a damn. Trying to see how badly you deserved it. Well. I’ve come to an unfortunate conclusion, but not at all a startling one.

You’re a coward(stabs the ice quickly and Cowards jolts) And you’ll never be anything more. I’ve seen you in the last week hit a school bus and flee the scene of the accident(stabs the ice again). I’ve seen you steal a crippled war veteran’s change when he wasn’t looking(stabs the ice again, harder). I witnessed you kick a hooker out of a speeding car two nights ago while she was orally servicing you, so you didn’t have to pay her fee(stabs the ice again and again and again, really freaking Cowards out, sending ice flying throught the bathroom). Hell Cowards, you park in three handicapped spaces, while handicapped people….. make handicapped faces. You’re nothing more than a piece of SHIT. And I’m sad to say, that there is SIMPLY, nothing more I can do. You’re unhelpable. You failed in your re-education. It’s over with. Time for your itch to get scratched, time for you to pay the piper, time for you to redeem yourself. Pay your pence. TIME FOR.........THE RECKONING. You’ve left me no choice. But how Cowards? How can I stop you from being this coward, this PUSSY? And then it hit me. If the fear of me wasn’t enough to stop you from being an evil little prick, then I guess I’m gonna have to cut your cowardice off at its....... source.

Gabe points to Cowards’ legs, dangling off of the other edge of the tub, to his shins.Gabe Griffin walks out of the bathroom for a moment and walks back in with a ball and gag, he puts it in Cowards’ mouth and leaves the room again, when he comes back in, he’s holding the biggest chainsaw you’ve ever seen.

Griffin: Cowards. Since I made I promise that I wasn’t gonna lay a harmful FINGER on you until No Escape, I am not gonna do the hurting, but the chainsaw…well she’s a different story. So Cowards, how does it feel? To be SO helpless? SUCH A VICTIM? See, not only do I want that American Championship so bad I can taste it, but I’ve kinda taken you on as a special project and I CANNOT FAIL. So the only option is for you to either change your ways, or I’ll change them for you. You didn’t do it, so it’s my time.

Gabe reves up the chainsaw and the noise is defening. Cowards’ eyes clench shut as he can’t look. Gabe starts destroying the bathroom itself and then turns his attention to Cowards. Gabe lowers the chainsaw and looks at Cowards.

Griffin: THIS is how badly I want the American championship, THIS is how badly I want that bullseye around my waist Cowards. THIS is just how far I’m willing to go to get the job done. Cowards, THIS is that level most of you WILL NEVER SEE!

Gabe then raises the chainsaw and lowers it to Cowards’ feet. Gabe’s chainsaw cuts through Coward’s feet from the shins down, sawdust flying everywhere. As we watch Cowards’ face form into a disfigured agony, eyes closed since he cannot feel it due to the freezing, we see that the feet Gabe cut off were just wooden fakes. Gabe turns off the chainsaw and we see Cowards hyperventilating with the gag on. Gabe drops the weapon and powerfully lifts Cowards out of the ice, revealing his legs were under him the entire time. Cowards is now full out balling with tears.

Griffin: Okay Cowards, I lied. The re-education ISN’T OVER YET. True, you’ve faild up to this point, but the LESSONS are not over yet. No, no , no Cowards, it isn’t over yet, not quite. C’mon! I wouldn’t let you off by crippling you BEFORE our match. I’m gonna do that DURING our match. But that is lesson number two, teaching you that someday, you won’t be able to run away from your fears, from your problems. Someday you won’t be able to COP-OUT and run. And now, time for lesson number three, but it’s a short trip.

Gabe lifts Cowards out of the tub, and pulls a nearly naked, numb, gagged and crying Cowards out of the motel room as the camera crew follows into the city street. Gabe takes Cowards across the motel parking lot and across the street through traffic to reveal a massive BRIDGE. The sunlight is blinding Gabe, so he puts his shades back on. Cowards tries to run, but he falls flat on his face, his legs are totally numb. Near the bridge is the Beautiful Woman who drugged Cowards, standing next to a black van. Gabe looks at her and then to Cowards.

Griffin: Thank god for me Cowards, because that crazy bitch really wanted to rip your kidney out and all that gory shit, but I didn’t have the time. Thank me later.

Gabe then pulls out a blindfold again and puts it over Cowards.

Griffin: You aren’t gonna want to see this, but it’s your last test before No Escape. Up until this point, I’ve taught you to FACE the music and I’ve taught you that you can’t run forever. Now, the final lesson. Conquer what made you a coward in the first place. Here you are….on a bridge. Remember Cowards. What do you fear more than anything in this world HUH? Didn’t think I’d know, well let me tell you, let me tell you another URBAN LEGEND, tell me if you’ve heard this one. It’s the one about the….about the man who knows what you’ve DONE? The man who saw it, who KNOWS your DEEPEST, DARKEST secrets? Because Cowards, while I couldn’t get you to change your ways, I found a way to dig into the past of the Cowards, the original origin of you and your ways. You want to hear it?

Cowards through his mask: Go to hell.

Gabe gets right up into Cowards’ face again.

Griffin: Yeah, the man who knows what you did, remembers this one REAL well. You became a coward that night, the night you chose not to help that special someone you cared about, the night you chose to run instead of stay. How high was it? How far was the drop? I know you could’ve saved him, he was your best friend, like a brother. He was just hanging there, screaming for your help, begging, pleading, praying you’d be a man. But, you just couldn’t face your fear, face the music could you? Your fear of heights turned you into an involuntary murderer. Your cowardice led to his fall. You RAN, he DIED. SPLAT. All she wrote. But guess what? Now I’m here to collect your tab. Now it’s time to FACE IT. The final test Cowards, the final test before I meet you head on and I want a fight that doesn’t run scared, but comes with TEETH. That fight for THAT BULLSEYE should be a well deserved bloody-as-sin battle to the bone. TO THE BONE.

It is time for you to face your final test Cowards, time for you to put yourself onto that...... OTHER LEVEL. I’m taking you there and here’s the secret on how to get there. GO…….OVER…..THE….EDGE!

Gabe pulls of Cowards’ blindfold to reveal that he’s standing at the VERY edge of an extremely high bridge, looking down at raging waters below, Gabe takes out the gag. Gabe looks Cowards in the eyes one last time, he takes off his glasses and throws them over. The camera looks over the bridge and watches the drop. It’s a long fall! Gabe has his game face on.

Griffin: NO ESCAPE. NOWHERE TO HIDE. NOWHERE TO RUN. NOTHING TO FEAR, BUT ME. If you comeback to fight me at No Escape, I want you to make it hurt, so I can make it hurt more. I’m not touching you in the eight man, I’m not gonna even think about it, but when that bell rings and that belt is on the line. I’m gonna cut straight to the point, you’re gonna be JUST ANOTHER VICTIM!

Cowards spits a massive gob into Gabe’s face. Gabe wipes the spit of his face and winks at him. Gabe grabs a handful of Cowards’hair and uncuffs him.

Cowards: You know what this “re-education” has done? It’s given me a taste for blood, but I haven’t change a bit. And after No Escape I’m still gonna be the Coward with the title and you’re gonna be the asshole with the headache!

Griffin: Maybe so, but you know what else I am?

Cowards: No, what asshole?

Griffin: I AM SIMPLY……..Uuuuuuuuuuuun-Touchable.

Gabe then pushes Cowards off the bridge, as Cowards falls, he has a look of supreme terror, that these are his last moments. Up until this point, the promo on the bridge has been a medium close-up two shot of Gabe and Cowards.

As Gabe pushes Cowards, over, the camera looks over the bridge to reveal that Cowards is hanging by a bungeechord and since his legs were frozen, he didn’t feel it. That is why Gabe blindfolded him. We hear Cowards’ screams of fear as Griffin laughs. The camera goes over the bridge again and gets several close-ups of Cowards hangining upside down. Camera pulls out to Gabe who looks over the bridge and spits towards the still bouncing Cowards.

Griffin: At No Escape, there is no SAFETY HARNESS, YOU FALL DOWN, YOU DON’T GET UP!

As Griffin begins to walk away, the beautiful woman grabs Gabe’s arm.

Beautiful Woman: Hey, was that stuff about Cowards’ his best friend falling to his death true? Did he really not save him? Is he that big a COWARD?

Griffin: How the hell should I know, but it sure made for one awesome urban legend didn’t it?

Beautiful Woman: You know Untouchable, I’ve got an hour before I got to go back to work, you wanna do something?

Griffin: Well....then go boil an egg, I’ve got a RECKONING to settle at No Escape.

Griffin then walks away, out of camera shot.

Fade to black.

[+Donald $. Carlos+]

This is part 1 of Skroob's "Call To Battle" promo.

Quite possibly one of the most innovative, & entertaining backstage segments in not only the history of CCW . . . but pro-wrestling, in general.

*****************************************************************

The camera opens on a shot of JD Wheeler where we last left him: sitting in a corner in his locker room. (Read Amy’s second promo dammit!) He seems to be in deep thought, thinking about the past few weeks. A couple of tears stream down his cheek at the thought of all that has happened.

JD: (Sorrowful tone.) Everything has just gone to Hell.

JD closes his eyes as he leans his head back against the wall.

JD: I just wish I was never born.

Voice: Is that so?

JD opens his eyes to see a middle-aged man standing before him.

JD: Who the hell are you?

Man: The name’s Hank. I’m here to help you.

Hank offers his hand to JD. After a couple of seconds, JD decides to accept it and use it to lift himself up.

JD: I’m sorry.....but who exactly are you.

Hank: My name’s Hank. I’m a fan of yours. I’ve been watching you ever since you debuted in CCW.

JD: How did you get by security?

Hank: I just told them Jeff Jarrett was hanging around in the parking lot. 10 seconds later, the whole battalion armed with nightsticks and mace stormed the parking lot.

JD: Makes sense. So......why are you here again?

Hank: I’m here to help you through your little depression JD. See you seem to think you have it bad right now. You seem to think that everyone has turned on you. You think that your sister blames you for Robert’s death. What you can’t seem to realize is that it’s all in your head. You think you have it bad? Take a look at me. (Starts walking around the room.) I got married right out of high school. I had no job….no skills. No money or credit to my name. My wife gain 75 pounds of each birthday she had. When I finally got a job, I was making minimum wage and just barely getting enough food on the table to satisfy her enormous girth. On top of that, we had three kids. At least I think it was three.....she might have eaten a couple...or all of them...I can’t remember. (Turns around and looks directly at JD.) But despite it all, I still loved her.

JD: That’s a pretty disturbing story.

Hank: Make jokes all you want JD, but the point is: things still weren’t all that bad. And she loved me as well. You know how I know?

JD shakes his head.

Hank: Because she TOLD ME!! EVERY SINGLE FUCKIN’ DAY OF MY LIFE!!! It didn’t matter if I was at work…watching a game…TAKING A SHIT!!!...she always interrupted my day to tell me she loved me. She was such an annoying FAT BITCH!!! (Smiles) But I got back at her. I cancelled my life insurance and the car insurance for her car. Then I took her car out in the middle of night to this lake about 10 miles from our home. I rolled up all the windows, put on my seatbelt, and hit the pedal to the metal and drove that piece of shit into the lake. And I laughed and laughed as the car sunk into the lake with me in it. She was left with NOTHING!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!

Hank continues to laugh like a maniac for a few seconds. When he finally stops, JD just stares at him wide-eyed.

JD: (Sarcastic) And you’re here to help me.

Hank: That I am JD.

JD: Wait a minute, that story makes no sense. If you stayed in the car when it submerged, you should be dead then.

Hank: Well I haven’t been completely honest with you JD. I’m not exactly your fan. Actually, I’m your guardian angel.

JD: (Dumbfounded) Say that again?

Hank: I am an angel, and I’m your guardian angel.

JD: Ohhhh….you see I thought you were coming next week. I thought Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny were coming today for tea.

Hank: That’s very funny JD. But I’m dead serious. Get it?! DEAD!! HAHA!! I crack me up sometimes.

JD: And I thought you were just insane.

Hank: Enough funny business JD. You see I’m on a mission. I need to get my wings back…Don’t ask what happened…And the only way I can do that is if I can convince you to live.

JD: (Hesitant) What exactly are you planning?

Hank: I’m giving you your wish JD. I’m gonna show you what it would be like if you were never born. So let the games begin.

Hank snaps his fingers and the locker room door opens. JD gets a little freaked but nonetheless follows Hank out of the room. They walk down the corridors of the American Airlines Center until they reach their destination. Hank snaps his fingers again, and the door in front of them opens.

JD: How the hell do you do that?

Hank: It’s the first thing they teach you when you become an angel.

They walk inside and in the room is just about every Onslaught superstar. Each are in their own little groups talking and laughing and just generally having a good time.

JD: Hey guys. Take a look at my “guardian angel” Hank.

No one seems to notice him.

Hank: They can’t hear you JD. Much like when you’re having sex, you don’t exist.

JD looks at Hank with anger.

Hank: I kid man, I kid.

JD looks around the room and notices Khaos talking to themselves….with Raven.

JD: What the hell? Why is Raven with Khaos? They split up.

Hank: Raven never did leave Khaos, JD. Since you weren’t born, Amy never had that edge to her that caused Raven so much trouble. As a result, Raven never turned on Amy, Khaos, or the fans.

JD: OK….but how come they don’t have the tag titles?

Hank points over to the direction of General Patton and Scott McMahon. To JD’s surprise, they’re holding the World Tag Team titles. Roddy Piper approaches the tag champs.

Piper: You two, I just want to congratulate you guys for another great defense of the tag titles. You defiantly have become the dominate tag team of CCW.

JD: (Shocked) You got to me kidding me! On their very best day, these guys couldn’t beat the Johnsons of TNA.

Hank: Since Raven never left, Kris and Ryan weren’t concerned about tag titles. They were just happy to all be together. So when Patton and McMahon challenged them for the tag titles, they got beaten very easily. But they still didn’t care…in fact they’re happier now than they ever been. And Patton and McMahon gained confidence after that huge win, and they’ve been turning back the competition ever since. McMahon never had to go to RMW and Patton finally started winning.

JD then notices Marcus Knight sitting on the couch with Jen, Janet, and a few extra ladies.

JD: Well at least the Smooth Jackass hasn’t changed.

Hank: Are you sure about that? You notice he seems to have a bit more ladies than normal.

JD: Yeah, so?

Hank: After you guys had that brutal Hell in a Cell match, Marcus no longer could “perform” like he used to, if you know what I mean. But since you weren’t born, Marcus never had to go through that Hell in a Cell match with you. As a result, he has been getting more women than most guys know what to do with. And therefore, he has never been happier.

JD: (Sarcastic) Perfect.

Hank: Don’t worry JD, I did some research on the guy. (Pulls out some papers.) By the time this guy reaches 35, his stomach will be become so ulcer-ridden and he’ll have such high blood pressure that…(Looks closely at the papers.)…oh wait a minute…that’s you. HAHAHAHAHA!! (Puts the papers away.) Sorry man.

JD: (Sarcastic) Oh this was fun! What’s next? You gonna take me back to the time I was conceived so I find out that was the day before my father decided to invent his own brand of condoms?

Hank: No I don’t like to time travel. It turns my stomach into knots and I’m up all night. It’s a real bitch. But if it’s any consolation, the day you were born was the day before the slogan “Just say no” became popular.

JD: Thanks. (Rolls his eyes.)

Hank: I’m sorry JD. I was suppose to give you a reason to live. But looking around right now and seeing everyone happier, there doesn’t seem to be a damn reason you should. Oh wait…maybe that’s because we’re not done.

JD: There’s more to endure?

Hank: Oh yes JD. And believe me, it’s about to get far worse.

Hank walks out the door. JD stands there for a few seconds, wondering what could possibly be in store for him next. Finally, JD gets enough courage to follow Hank out the door.

To be continued…

[+Donald $. Carlos+]

Here's Part 2 . . .

****************************************************************

JD follows Hank through the halls trying to catch up to him. The current events continue to perplex him as this alternate universe has been a strange one so far. And it’s only just started. JD sees Hank go through the curtains that lead to the stage. Wondering what could be in store, he follows Hank. After he steps through the curtains, he looks around the American Airlines Center and sees Hank standing right at the top of the ramp. JD approaches him.

JD: So what the hell are we doing out here?

Hank: Look around JD. Notice anything odd?

JD does what he’s asked and looks around the arena. He does notice that nearly all the seats are empty. Only a few hundred seats are actually filled with fans.

JD: There’s not a lot of fans in the arena, but so what? We’ve still got an hour or so before the show starts. All the fans just haven’t arrived yet. You don’t get that?

Hank: (Chuckles) No JD. Just like sex with women, it’s you who doesn’t get it.

JD eyes fill with anger again.

JD: You really are annoying you know that? What are you talking about?

Hank: We’re not a few hours before the event starts. Oh no. We’re right in the middle of the PPV as we speak.

JD: Wait….what? That makes no sense. How could we be in the middle of the PPV and only like 400-500 people are in the arena. We sell out every show.

Hank: Onslaught did sell out arenas when you were alive. Believe it or not JD, you are a main attraction when it comes to Onslaught. But since you were never born, there’s nothing on Onslaught that holds the fans interest.

JD: Whoa whoa whoa. Hold on a minute. Nice try. First off, we’re in my hometown. It only makes sense that…..

Hank: (Interrupting) That doesn’t make a difference. It’s not just this show. It’s every show Onslaught has produced so far.

JD: OK fine. But it still makes no sense. How could I be the sole reason Onslaught has fans?

Hank: You’re the only one on the show they get behind with a passion JD. Who are they gonna cheer on this show? Knight? Cowards? SUMMERS? You get where I’m going with this?

JD: But what about J-Man or Shawn Greene? I’ve seen the fans get behind them a lot. They love them just as much as me…probably more so since the fans found out my secret.

Hank: (Sighs) You never lost the fans’ support One Minute Wonder. They don’t care what you were like in the past. What matters to them is that you give them their money’s worth each and every show. And as for J-Man and Greene, they aren’t on Onslaught anymore.

JD: What the hell are you talking about now?

Hank: Are we having a communication problem here? They are no longer on the show anymore. Greene left CCW after his lost to Cowards in that steel cage match. He just couldn’t take it anymore and decided to try his luck elsewhere. It was your little speech to him at the end of that night that caused him to stay in the first place. But since you don’t exist right now, you never gave the speech and he split.

JD: Well…then what about J-Man. How could I be the reason he’s not in CCW?

Hank: No he’s in CCW. He’s just not on Onslaught. He currently wrestles on Unleashed. You see JD, when J-Man was making his big return, he had a choice of whether to go to Onslaught or Unleashed. J-Man wanted to face someone he knew would propel him to immortality if they ever had a match together. And that’s why he chose to go to Onslaught. It’s because you were the man who could do the job. He figured J-Man vs. JD Wheeler would be the feud to end all feuds between two of the biggest fan favorites currently in wrestling. But…..

JD: (Interrupting) I think I get it. I don’t exist, so no reason to come to Onslaught.

Hank: Hey, you’re finally catching on Numb Nuts. There may be hope for you yet. Now follow me. We’ve got more to see and so little time.

JD: (Sarcasm) Oh joy.

JD follows Hank to the backstage. Hank takes JD to one of the locker rooms of the arena and they enter. The room is just like any other locker room and JD’s ponders why they’re there.

JD: Why are we here?

Hank: OH you’ll find out VERY shortly.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, a commotion is heard that sounds somewhat like a door being opened . . . making way for a very provocatively dressed Amy Wheeler to enter, & saunter toward the room's center. As soon as she arrives in the center of the room, her body stops . . . staying still, & conducting herself in a manner that would make it seem as though she is waiting for someone else to follow.

She is wearing a pair of tight, pink, almost thong-like hot pants . . . & a black tube top that just barely covers her aureoles. Her hair is pulled back in a ponytail, & her lips are colored a deep shade of crimson red . . . complementing the black eyeshadow, & knee-length boots to perfection. Sticking out of the waistband of her hot pants appears to be a wad of money.

JD is absolutely stunned, freaked, and pissed at what he sees. He turns to Hank.

JD: What in holy fuck is going on here? And what in GOD’S NAME IS MY SISTER WEARING?!!!

Hank: Just watch…….

BOOM!

Just then, a slightly louder commotion is heard coming from the same general direction . . . causing Amy's head to shoot up from looking down at her feet, & instead lock eyes on the man who has seemingly taken over her life. As well as his girlfriend . . .

Violence: (Walking on-screen) Hot DAYUM! Look at you, Amy . . . you're so pretty, it's scary. How I didn't get a hold of that a lot sooner is something I'm gonna' regret for the rest of my days.

Violence then proceeds to circle Amy very slowly . . . looking over every inch of her body, & enabling his smile to widen with every step he takes. Just then, from a completely different direction (toward the right) . . . Violence's beau Heather St. Clair ambles into the picture. She is carrying her man's trademark kendo stick in one hand, & a steadily burning blunt in the other.

JD is now more stunned than ever.

JD: Oh you better explain what the FUCK my sister is doing with that idiot whose blood probably contains more weed than plasma!!

Hank: Well JD, since you weren’t born, there was no one there to prevent Amy from following Robert’s footsteps. He corrupted her just like he was corrupting you.

JD: You better watch your mouth!!

Hank: Whatever….point is, after Robert’s death, no one was there to stop Amy from going down a path of drugs, violence….prostitution.

JD: (Freaked) WHAT?!!!!!!!!

Hank: You heard me Dolphin Boy. Robert’s death really got to her, and you weren’t there to help her. And now she has become Josh Violence’s little….well just look.

St. Clair places the blunt in her mouth, throws her head back, & inhales deeply . . . allowing the smoke to run its course inside her body, before grabbing Amy by the ponytail, & locking lips with the buxom brunette out of nowhere! At first, Amy struggles, but after a few seconds it becomes apparent that she enjoys this kind of treatment . . . allowing St. Clair to transfer the smog from her mouth and into Amy's . . . before Amy then does the same thing to Violence!

No sooner than Violence has received Amy's hit, he exhales upward . . . watching the smoke dance across the width of the ceiling, before reaching forward & wrapping his right hand around Amy's throat. Her eyes immediately widen in response to the danger she now appears to be in . . . & she doesn't dare look away, as Violence begins speaking once again:

Violence: But, enough of these little games, Miss Wheeler. You know what I want . . . Heather knows that you know what I want . . . so why the fuck don't you just hand it over, before I make you give head to the barrel of a gun? OK?

Wheeler's head begins shaking up & down at a fast, fearful pace. Violence pushes her back into Heather St. Clair, who holds her arms out to catch the distraught woman's wrestler . . . burying her left hand inside Amy's pants, & rummaging around a bit before producing the wad of money that had been seen before. St. Clair then hands it to Violence, who proceeds to count it . . . his demeanor changing almost instantly, as the amount he has doesn't seem to be enough.

SMACK!

Without even the slightest hint of a warning, Violence lunges forward . . . slamming the back of his right hand against the corresponding side of Amy's face! The force is enough to send her tumbling to the floor, on her hands & knees . . . facing away from Violence, who then takes the time to stare at her ass, before motioning for Heather to hand him the kendo stick.

JD’s eyes grow wide with anger.

JD: Are you sure he wouldn’t feel it if I kicked his teeth down his fuckin’ throat?

Hank: He wouldn’t feel a slight breeze. Though for $50, I can make him think his skin is made of Doritos.

Heather then stands over Amy's back, & places her hands underneath Amy's bottom mandible . . . pulling back on it with all of her strength, & forcing Amy to look up into her eyes, as St. Clair then starts grinding her crotch against the base of Amy's neck.

Violence: Amy, Amy, Amy . . . just what the fuck am I going to do with you? I mean, honestly . . . I just don't know anymore.

Time & time again, you make it your mission to disappoint me . . . & considering all that I've invested in you over the past few months . . . that isn't exactly a fair trade, is it?

Amy does her best to agree with Violence by shaking her head, but it does no good, as Violence isn't looking. Instead, he bends down, & grabs the waistband of her shorts . . . pulling them down the length of her legs in one swift motion, & then discarding them toward a far-off corner of the room. He then proceeds to start caning her . . . slamming the wooden staff down repeatedly against her ass cheeks with increasing force, as the defenseless woman begins to allow tears to form at the corner's of her eyes.

JD: (With much, much anger.) Hank….you better stop this right now or I swear to God I will throw through this wall.

Hank: (Sarcasm) Oh…I’m really scared now. HAHAHAHA!!!!!

Heather St. Clair then throws her head back, & begins laughing maniacally . . . shooting back to a vertical base, & watching on with increasing horniness, until her man is satisfied with what he has done.

Violence: Help that bitch to her feet, babe . . . & then bend her over the fucking couch. It's time she got what was coming to her, GODDAMMIT!

Violence then repositions himself to where his back is facing the camera, & begins un-buckling his belt as Heather St. Clair does as she was instructed . . . bending Amy Wheeler over the right arm of the couch, & directly in front of Violence's crotch. Heather then pulls down Amy's panties, & admires her from behind, before placing the kendo stick horizontally in the air.

Amy's eyes go wide upon seeing what Violence has to offer her, but the shock & awe is soon replaced with defenselessness, as St. Clair shoves the kendo stick forward . . . burying it inside of Amy, and twisting it around like a stereo knob, as Violence forces her head forward . . .

JD: AHHHHHHH!!!!!! THAT’S IT!!!!! I’M OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!

JD quickly exits the locker room before he sees more than a brother should see from his sister. Hank follows him until JD finally stops at the end of the hallway. JD is still a bit freaked from what he saw. Actually, he’s really freaked.

JD: That doesn’t make any God damn sense. How could Robert still be dead if I wasn’t there to cause his death?

Hank: Are you really that blind? Or just simply retarded? I’ll bank on both. Whether you like it or not, your brother was a criminal. He may have loved you and Amy, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was a low life thug. His actions and his decisions got him killed. It had nothing to do with you. Whether you were born or not didn’t make any difference. His life style was gonna get him killed no matter what. The only difference was that you could have been around to help your sister. But you no longer seem to want that.

JD: This is all bullshit. It really is. There is no way that…..

JD turns around and notices something off in the distance.

JD: What in the Hell is that?

What JD is looking is at is Cowards standing around stuffing his face with all sorts of food. Around his shoulder is the Global Heavyweight title.

Hank: That’s your opponent tonight. Or…it was your opponent tonight. You no longer exist, so Cowards was able to become Global Heavyweight champion. Nothing was able to get in his way. You were supposed to be the one to prevent that, but that’s no longer the case. But it’s probably for the best. The guy is very happy now.

JD just stares at the horrible image of Cowards and Onslaught’s top belt right next to each other. Finally, he’s had enough as Cowards walks off to do…..whatever the hell it is he does by himself.

JD: Now that’s the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Hank: No JD, it was my wife that broke the camel’s back. What are you getting at?

JD: After all that finger lickin’ idiot has put me through these past couple of weeks, you think I’m just gonna stay back and let him take my title and turn Onslaught into a joke? No fuckin’ way that’s gonna happen.

Hank: (With hope.) Oh are you saying what I’m hoping you are saying?

JD: Yeah…I want to live dammit and kick that fucker’s ass!

Hank: AH YES! I DID IT! I’M GONNA GET MY WINGS BACK! Oh this is a joyous occasion. You’ve learn so much….I guess. And I get what I treasure the most back. You know what? I’m gonna go see my wife.

JD: Awww….to tell her you do still love her?

Hank: HELL NO!! No, I’m gonna go to her house and place a big 10 layer chocolate cake within her sight. But I’m gonna place just far enough away from her porkified fingers so she has to waddle and slosh her way to reach it. Then about 3 hours later when she finally grabs the cake, I’m gonna wait for her to put it in her anaconda like jaw and turn that chocolate into dog shit!! HAHAHA!! How does that sound my friend?

JD: You truly are insane you sick fuck.

Hank: HAHAHAHA!!! I’m coming home baby. And I got a surprise for you bitch!! HAHAHAHA!!!

Hank continues laughing like the maniac that he is as he starts walking away. JD just stands there in disbelief. The only he can think of doing is wave bye-bye to Hank as he turns the corner and is out of sight.

The picture quickly goes blurry for a few seconds. Soon, the picture refocuses back on a shot of JD sitting in the corner in his locker room. His eyes are closed and it appears he has been asleep this whole time.

A hand then appears in the shot which starts shaking JD.

Mysterious Voice: Hey JD, wake up.

JD does just that as his eyes open to the sight of his sister standing in front of him. He sees that she’s wearing her ring gear and without any hesitation, he leaps up and hugs her like he hasn’t seen her in years.

JD: Oh thank God you’re back to normal.

Amy: (Struggling to breathe.) What…..are you……talking about?

JD: Well, the last time I saw you, you were wearing hardly anything and had kendo stick shoved up you.

Amy’s eyes widen out of disgust. She shoves her brother off of her.

Amy: What kind of perverted, sick ass dream were you having?

JD: It doesn’t matter. I gotta get to training. I’ve get ready to kick some Kentucky Fried Ass. I’ll see you after my match.

JD makes his way to the door. As he opens it and starts to walk out, he stops and looks back at his sister. Thoughts of what happen a few minutes ago run through his head. He shuts the door.

Amy smiles even though she has no clue what has come over her brother all of a sudden.

[Boricua]

Forgive me if I seem biased, but I thought this joint effort by me and skrrob turned out pretty well:

The crowd rises up and cheers, as Onslaught General Manager Roddy Piper walks out to the sound of bagpipes. He’s dressed in his usual kilt and leather jacket, but in his hand, he carries a clipboard with the contract for next month’s main event.

Announcer: Ladies and gentleman, please welcome the Onslaught General Manager . . . “Rowdy” Roddy Piper!

Piper enters the ring, which we see is furnished with a carpet, a table, and two chairs. After climbing through the ropes, he calls for the mic.

Piper: Good evenin’, Hampton!

The crowd cheers at being acknowledged.

Piper: Since the very beginning of CCW, the hatred between JD Wheeler and Marcus Knight has grown steadily. Barbs were traded, lines were crossed, and now it’s come to this. So tonight, we’re here to make it official, and two men will sign there way into the most vicious imaginable match: Hell in a Cell!

The crowd pops at the mere mention of this foreboding structure.

Piper: So let’s bring out the participants. First, the CCW Global Heavyweight Champion, Marcus Knight!

“Smooth Operator” by Sade comes on, prompting the fans to boo. Out walks Marcus Knight in a rather conservative black suit, white shirt, and dark blue tie, and he carries his belt on his shoulder. He climbs through the ropes, shakes Piper’s hand, and takes a seat.

Piper: And now, ladies and gentlemen, the challenger, JD Wheeler!

The Hampton Coliseum erupts, and “Bodies” comes on over the sound system. Sure enough, JD Wheeler walks out, dressed in a Wheeler t-shirt and jeans. However, his entrance lacks his usual energy. Instead, he wears a look of eerie fixation, as he heads straight to the ring and into his chair, without even bothering to shake Piper’s hand.

Piper: Now then, gentlemen, you’ve each had time before the show to look over the contract, and read through the match stipulations. You’ve seen that there are no disqualifications and no time limits in this match. And to all the viewers at home, let me stress that this will be a very graphic and violent match, and discretion is strongly advised, especially to the parents of young CCW fans. Anyway, you’ve also read the clause barring any physical confrontation between you two before The Reckoning. Should either of you attack the other before the match, you will automatically forfeit!

So since we’ve got that squared away, let’s make it official! Champ, you go first.

Piper slides the contract over to Knight, who stares back at him for a bit, and then calls for the mic.

Knight: You know, since last week, when I was ambushed and extorted into agreeing to this match, I’ve had a lot of time to think.

Knight stands up, and begins to pace as he talks.

Knight: So I sat in my cavernous mansion back home in Fairfax; you know, the nice part of Virginia.

A great uproar of boos emerges from the crowd in Hampton.

Knight: And I said to myself, ‘there’s got to be a better way.’ Just imagine what we risk losing. I mean, look at me.

He stands with his arms outstretched, drawing boos from the crowd.

Knight: I’m not just a main event wrestler, I’m a STAR! I am a soon to be R&B sensation, an icon of muscularity and vitality, and the man with the velvet touch! You people can’t AFFORD to lose me, dammit!

Knight pauses for a bit, and points to his opponent.

Knight: And you, Wheeler. Granted, I’ll never even remotely be a fan of yours, but I’ll admit it: you’ve got mass appeal. That’s right, all of these Joe Sixpacks and Johnny Lunchpales sitting out there can relate to you. You may not be a very good wrestler, but the fact remains: people love you. They don’t want to see you in some gruesome, disturbing match! Between the two of us, we’re much too valuable to risk this.

Knight pauses for a bit, growing more nervous. He then turns his attention to Piper.

Knight: Piper, my man, remember back in the day, when you and Hogan used to pack the house every night? Great times, right? Well what if they shoved you into some enclosed space, and had you rip each other to shreds like animals, huh? That’s not responsible leadership! That, that’s just . . . just . . . sick! I mean, surely you of all people can understand me, Piper? Right? Know what I mean?

Piper merely shakes his head. Seeing that nobody agrees with him, Marcus begins speaking again.

Knight: So that’s the way it is, huh? How disgusting. I can’t believe you people actually enjoy watching other living, breathing human beings getting thrown off the cell, o-or getting pierced with thumbtacks, or cut up with barbed wire! That’s what’s wrong with America today; nobody wants to see any quality entertainment. It’s always gotta be somebody getting impaled, or shot, or tortured, or something sick like that. You people are like Count Dracula, feasting off the blood of others! For shame, America; for shame.

As he finishes his diatribe, chants of “Marcus Sucks! Emerge.

Knight: Alright, fine! If THAT’S the way you want it! You people want a “reckoning”, so you’ll get one!

Knight angrily signs his name to the contract.

Knight: I hope you people are happy!

Knight sits back in his chair, brooding with his belt on his shoulder.

Piper hands the contract over to Wheeler, who doesn't move a muscle. After a couple of seconds just sitting still, he leans over in the chair to look at the contract. Wheeler doesn't pick up the pen and turns the pages of the contract over to where Knight's signature is. Wheeler just continues to stare at the contract, not saying word, not moving a muscle, rarely even blinking.

Finally, Wheeler reaches over to his side and picks up the pen. He puts the pen to the spot on the paper where he's supposed to sign. He writes the first to words in his name.....Jerry then Daniels.....and stops. He lifts up his head and looks directly into Knight's eyes. He gives a very cold and evil stare towards Knight as Wheeler reaches over and picks up the mic.

Wheeler: (In a sad, sinister voice.) Oh Marcus, Marcus, Marcus. Do you even realize what you have done to yourself? You see, this isn't just a contract for our match.......this contract was your official ticket for your death trip all the way down to the vile pits of Hell. And you so foolishly signed it.

Wheeler rises from his chair.

Wheeler: And before I finish signing it.....do you know what the worse part about it is? You truly have no clue what is in store for you. Cause you see Knight, you did a lot to me at No Escape. More than you realize. First, you took my title away from me.

Wheeler and Knight both look at the Global title, and Knight clutches it tightly.

Wheeler: Then you took away my dignity. You made me tap out. And you toss me inside a dumpster like I was nothing but garbage. And you just laughed and laughed because it was all part of your plan. Everything that happened at No Escape, you planned on it happening. However, you also did something that you did not plan. Something quite........unexpected. For you and me both.

Wheeler starts pacing around the ring.

Wheeler: (Holds his free hand to his chest.) You see, you awoke something inside of me Knight. Something that I've only experience occasionally, but it never took control of me. Yet, this feeling came over me, and I couldn't control it. It was burning inside of me, it was calling to me, it was BEGGING me to let it out. And at first, it scared me. I didn't know what was happening to me. I could feel it running through my veins, my blood, my organs. It was churning inside of me, giving me thoughts and visions that would scare a normal person out of their very skin. This horrid FEELING.......it was making me SICK!!

Wheeler grabs his shirt with his hands and pulls as hard as he can......tearing the shirt vertically right down his front side. Some pieces of cloth fall to the floor as Wheeler's bare chest and abs are exposed for all to see.

Wheeler: The feeling........it was consuming me. It was a deep, dark kind of anger that just makes you wish the world never existed. It was taking over my soul. I didn't want it.......(A tear streams down his cheek.).......I just didn't want it.

Wheeler reaches behind him and pulls out a knife that was hidden in the back of his pants. He puts the cold steel to his chest.

Wheeler: I couldn't take it...........I wanted this feeling OUT OF ME!!!!

Wheeler quickly slashes himself with the knife.

Wheeler: I WANTED IT GONE!!! (More slashes.) GONE!!!!! (More slashes.) GONE!!!!!!!! (More slashes.) GONE!!!!!!!!!!! (More slashes) GOOOOONNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wheeler stops and is breathing heavily. Blood pours from the cuts he made in his chest. Knight just backs his chair up a bit, completely spooked by Wheeler's actions. Wheeler looks down at his work, drops the knife, and just smiles.

Wheeler: But soon, that fear turned into pleasure and acceptance. I no longer feared that feeling and let it embrace me. And when I did, I saw things very differently. Things never appeared the same anymore. Food never tasted the same......the touch of a human being never felt the same.......and PAIN no longer seemed to affect me. I was no longer myself. I was no longer the person that I knew so well. Soon, I knew where I truly had gone.....for only one place could be this horrible. I KNEW I WAS IN HELL!!!!!!

Wheeler's cold, evil eyes stare directly into Knight's. Wheeler then gives out a sick, disturbing laugh.

Wheeler: Yet for some reason, it didn't bother me. I didn't mind being in this horrific place. It felt kinda cozy......like I belonged here. Like it was my new home or something. For a minute, I thought I truly lost my mind. Then I realized something that scared me........I HAD AND THERE WAS NO WAY TO GET IT BACK!! But you see Knight.........Hell is a very LONELY place. And that's why I wanted this specific kind of match. I wanted a friend.......or just someone to keep me company. Maybe then my mind would find its way back home. Maybe I would get back my sanity. Maybe.......just maybe I would be free again. So I decided who better to join me than the person who sent me here.

Wheeler points at Knight and the crowd cheers. Wheeler walks over to the table. He leans as far as over the table he can until he just a few inches from Knight's face. Blood begins dripping on the table. Knight has an absolute look of fear on his face and his body begins to stiffen up.

Wheeler: Now listen well Knight. I'm gonna be nice to you and give you a break. Over the next few weeks, I'm gonna prepare you mentally for our match at The Reckoning.........your trip to Hell. I'm gonna show you what you can expect...........call it a glimpse into my personal Hell. And then at The Reckoning.......I will DESTROY you, I will MUTILATE you, and I will TAKE YOUR LIFE AND YOUR TITLE!!!!

Wheeler gives out another sinister laugh and his eyes grow wide.

Wheeler: (In a child like voice.) Then I will have a friend to spend my time with in the deep, dark, vile, horrific pits of HEEELLLLLLLL!!!!!

Wheeler drops the mic and picks up the pen. He signs "Wheeler" on the page, completing his signature.

Piper: So it’s official: at the Reckoning, for the Global Championship, it’ll be Marcus Knight defending against JD Wheeler . . . in a Hell in a Cell match!

[stevenuk1]

I was looking for the promo Don posted but couldn't find it but since its up thats my favourite promo.

[Boricua]

Ah yes, I forgot this classic promo by a legend of CCW:

chinesedemocracy said:

Axl Massario is backstage with a microphone.

Massario: I had recently just signed with this fed to wrestle here and check some stuff out. Since I'm new here, I've got my eye's on the CCW Street Fight Championship, but to get their, I must win matches and the only way to win matches is to have matches, so I will challenge anybody on this CCW roster to match next week on Unleashed and I guarentee, you will tap!

End of Promo.