Post by Cowards on Jul 7, 2006 20:54:45 GMT
Cowards taps his fork on his glass of grape-juice.
Cowards: Ladies and gentlemen.....
The crowd still talks on
Cowards: Ahem...Attention please...
The crowd is still not paying attention to the handsome man on stage
Cowards: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
This certainly shuts up the crowd...
Cowards: Today, I pressed 'Post Reply' on the wonderful board of AWT. Now, you may not think that it's all that much, but to me it was a special moment. When I pressed it to send that, most likely irrelevant, off-topic and unintelligent message today, it wasn't just like any other time. It was infact, my SEVEN THOUSANDTH POST!!
The crowd is silent, clearly shocked by Cowards rage a minute ago
Cowards: You may applaud now...
The crowd is still an eerily silent
Cowards: APPLAUD THE FUCK UP!!
A few people in the back start to clap...quietly
Cowards: Thank you at the back. A round of applause for the clappers...
To this the crowd start an excrusiating loud applause, which aggravates the oh-so-sexy man on stage
Cowards: You're pissing off Fat Earl on stage with me here...
The claps slowly begin to die down
Cowards: As I was saying, I have posted 7,000 messages here. As a great, great man once said, the late DavidPenzer, 'All you ever do is post spam. I bet half of those ____ thousand posts are crap'. Alright, I may be paraphrasing (whatever that means), but what he said and what I said he said has essentially the same meaning to it. Hopefully. Well David, may your soul rest in peace and all, I'd like to think that half of my 7,000 posts weren't spam. I hope that 90% of them were. Because, ladies and lads, if there is one man who hates spam in this building, KILL THEM! Spam is amazing, spam is fantastic, spam is truly delicious! Spam....
The crowd errupts in "Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!" chants as loud as possible
Cowards: SHUDDUP!! You must not let me go off topic, people. I have done that enough in the past, and I am going to turn over a new leaf from now on. The leaf that is tin on the top and on the bottom lined with lovely gold...and heavy. By which I mean that it may be a hard leaf to turn, but if I can turn it, it will be very shiny and gold...and shit.
Anyway, I was forced to make a speech at the point of a rather crap-tastic gun aimed (terribly. MY HEAD IS THIS WAY, DICK HEAD!!) by StevenUK the First. But I now have to think of a way to end this speech, seeing as Mr. UK1 has decided to experiment with the gun and point it crotch-side...
*BANG*
Cowards: Hard luck, Steve-O...I'm sure you can just steal some kids of your pikey neighbourhood...
The sound of someone dropping to the floor, dead, is heard
Cowards: Or not...Anyway, last words. Well, I think I have to close this speech by saying: I HATE YOU ALL AND...
The trap-down to the stage opens and Cowards is caught off guard and falls down the hole, yet his plump stomach gets somehow lodged, leaving just his upper body above the stage
Cowards: Not now John!! You totally fucked up on the que. Nice one fucktard. And the whole is way too small, but I'm used to that...
*CRASH*
The front of the stages comes crashing down, revealing Cowards legs dangling from the stage. Speaking of revealing, his trousers fell down during the fall, showing Cowards to be wearing nothing but a thong on his lower-half
Cowards: Erm...
Cowards legs begin making a running motion faster than has ever been seen before, but to no use with his legs not in contact with anything, and his stomach in contact with way too much
Cowards: Fuck!
Cowards: Ladies and gentlemen.....
The crowd still talks on
Cowards: Ahem...Attention please...
The crowd is still not paying attention to the handsome man on stage
Cowards: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
This certainly shuts up the crowd...
Cowards: Today, I pressed 'Post Reply' on the wonderful board of AWT. Now, you may not think that it's all that much, but to me it was a special moment. When I pressed it to send that, most likely irrelevant, off-topic and unintelligent message today, it wasn't just like any other time. It was infact, my SEVEN THOUSANDTH POST!!
The crowd is silent, clearly shocked by Cowards rage a minute ago
Cowards: You may applaud now...
The crowd is still an eerily silent
Cowards: APPLAUD THE FUCK UP!!
A few people in the back start to clap...quietly
Cowards: Thank you at the back. A round of applause for the clappers...
To this the crowd start an excrusiating loud applause, which aggravates the oh-so-sexy man on stage
Cowards: You're pissing off Fat Earl on stage with me here...
The claps slowly begin to die down
Cowards: As I was saying, I have posted 7,000 messages here. As a great, great man once said, the late DavidPenzer, 'All you ever do is post spam. I bet half of those ____ thousand posts are crap'. Alright, I may be paraphrasing (whatever that means), but what he said and what I said he said has essentially the same meaning to it. Hopefully. Well David, may your soul rest in peace and all, I'd like to think that half of my 7,000 posts weren't spam. I hope that 90% of them were. Because, ladies and lads, if there is one man who hates spam in this building, KILL THEM! Spam is amazing, spam is fantastic, spam is truly delicious! Spam....
The crowd errupts in "Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!" chants as loud as possible
Cowards: SHUDDUP!! You must not let me go off topic, people. I have done that enough in the past, and I am going to turn over a new leaf from now on. The leaf that is tin on the top and on the bottom lined with lovely gold...and heavy. By which I mean that it may be a hard leaf to turn, but if I can turn it, it will be very shiny and gold...and shit.
Anyway, I was forced to make a speech at the point of a rather crap-tastic gun aimed (terribly. MY HEAD IS THIS WAY, DICK HEAD!!) by StevenUK the First. But I now have to think of a way to end this speech, seeing as Mr. UK1 has decided to experiment with the gun and point it crotch-side...
*BANG*
Cowards: Hard luck, Steve-O...I'm sure you can just steal some kids of your pikey neighbourhood...
The sound of someone dropping to the floor, dead, is heard
Cowards: Or not...Anyway, last words. Well, I think I have to close this speech by saying: I HATE YOU ALL AND...
The trap-down to the stage opens and Cowards is caught off guard and falls down the hole, yet his plump stomach gets somehow lodged, leaving just his upper body above the stage
Cowards: Not now John!! You totally fucked up on the que. Nice one fucktard. And the whole is way too small, but I'm used to that...
*CRASH*
The front of the stages comes crashing down, revealing Cowards legs dangling from the stage. Speaking of revealing, his trousers fell down during the fall, showing Cowards to be wearing nothing but a thong on his lower-half
Cowards: Erm...
Cowards legs begin making a running motion faster than has ever been seen before, but to no use with his legs not in contact with anything, and his stomach in contact with way too much
Cowards: Fuck!
